Fill in the blank: "I'm not lazy, I'm just on ___ mode." Energy-saving mode. Standby mode. Airplane mode — the elite pick: fully disconnected, no incoming signals, good luck reaching me.
This sloth has been buffering since 2019, and respect the commitment. Remote in hand, melted into the couch, eyes at half-mast. The spinny wheel of death gave up and went home. He did not. He isn't stuck — he's arrived. The buffering is the destination.
Wrong answers only: "decorative-gourd mode," "Windows-update-at-3%-for-six-hours mode." The sloth will review all submissions. Eventually. He's buffering.