My Boss Said We're a Family, So I Asked About My Inheritance

My boss said "we're a family here." Great. I've always wanted a big dysfunctional family with a hierarchy and mandatory fun. So I did what any loving family member would do: I asked HR about my inheritance. If we're family, there's an estate, and I'd like to see the will.

I asked for a raise as the favorite child — I know the coffee order, never take the last donut — and requested the family dental discount.

HR walked me back to my desk with the firm gentleness of practice. It's family when they need Saturday coverage, but "just business" when you want a raise. Funny how that works. Pick one, Deborah.