This isn't a morning routine. Routines can be skipped. This is a legally binding contract, signed in triplicate by me, my nervous system, and the ancient god who invented the coffee bean. Terms: first I drink the coffee, then I do the things. In that order. Forever.
No clause for "one quick question before coffee." No addendum for "but it's urgent." Interrupt me before step one completes and you owe one full coffee, payable immediately. Phone calls before coffee are a war crime. "We need to talk" before coffee is how horror movies start.
People say try decaf. Those people are no longer in my life. Need me before 7 AM? Bring an offering. The offering is coffee.