I'm Not Lazy, I'm on Energy-Saving Mode

I'm not lazy. I'm on energy-saving mode — the couch has claimed me and I've stopped resisting. This cat has optimized his existence to fourteen naps a day and zero regrets. He burns less energy in a week than you burn picking what to watch.

Every move is engineered for maximum rest per calorie. The food bowl route is the shortest possible path, refined into a waddling straight line, and the return trip includes a planned collapse onto something soft. Lean methodology, applied to lounging.

And he does not care — not about your judgment, not about the red dot you've waved for ten minutes. So next time someone calls you lazy, correct them: you're optimized. You're basically a cat.